Where is God when tragedy strikes?!
Just wait till it happens to you. . .
Then you will know how it feels to be livin’ on after a loved ones gone.
Sure she’s got her favorite pair of slippers and her dog. . .
She even has her Sunshine baby right next to her.
But nothing can surmount to this unbearable pain she feels inside, like a piece of her left.
or beyond words, a piece of her died that day along with Her
when her Angel baby was called to her eternal reward.
She has lost so much sleep. . .deprived of the joy she should have felt
by holding her daughter in her arms but somehow God
chose to take her and in this grueling and insufferable matter her body has changed in
several ways from her stretch marks to losing hair . . .
How will she explain this to her son that she is a bereaved mother of two?
And deep inside she knows she wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.
But she can’t help but feel anger towards God and transpire a million fires in her heart
At the hospital she was listening to “700 Houses” by Susan Tedeschi when she found out.
She kept replaying the line where she sang, “let’s pick up the pieces from tragedy. You
and I must come to terms with reality.”
But it’s plain to see there’s no heading back, no yesterday or the day before.
Just one inexplicably, unbearable tragedy.
Somehow she knows she will have to go on and keep living her life despite that there is
still something missing and forever it will remain that way until she can be with Her
again. . .
It is hard not to mourn the loss.
The life that should’ve been.
The hopes and dreams you had for her.
All diminished and gone.
Just a few photographs. . .
And a picture of her small feet with your hands forming a heart around them.
And another of you kissing Her.
There is an emptiness that lingers your soul.
Even though She knew nothing but the surrounding love
You know in your heart that you could never go back to the woman you once were.
And when she goes on to bear other children, she is not sure if she should feel joy or
grief because she knows in her heart that she loves them both equally but how can she
feel excited the next time around but not feel grief at what she missed out on.
The loss of a possibility of what might’ve been.
It’s true you can’t feel both joy and grief at the same time.
But in her heart she’s afraid of feeling that bond with another because she is afraid of
losing the only piece left of her daughter, that pain she gave her mother when she could
not stay, but Indeed she remains a woman changed.
Not able to go back to who she once was.